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The Occasional Diarist – 17 June 2009

In the course of working as a freelance consultant, I’ve heard lots of ‘technospeak’, ‘metrobabble’ – you know what I mean. At first I used to get angry, then decided it wasn’t worth it. Almost all of the cliched phrases are completely meaningless, and not worth remembering, but one came into my mind this morning (it’s about 2:30am) whilst I was re-reading a story I started a couple of months ago. The phrase? – ‘Hold that thought’.

After ditching the story as deeply flawed (and a cliche in it’s own right) – looking back over it, I found myself getting back into the place and character I had created, and thinking it wasn’t so bad after all. Then whoa boy! – haven’t I been here before? So I stopped editing it and wrote this instead.
Yesterday saw me furiously programming, on Monday I completed a schematic and printed circuit board, and the two days before that saw feverish work on the lathe, milling machine and router.

I’ve nearly finished reading ‘Living Well With Depression and Bipolar Disorder’. This comes highly recommended, but I’m afraid the only two emotions it raised in me were boredom and anger – boredom at the mindless trotting out of TLAs (sic) and results of surveys, and a little anger at finding it hasn’t helped me at all – ie. hasn’t told me anything I didn’t know already. Indeed it smacks of ‘I know, I have a serious problem, so I might as well make some money out of it by dangling the prospect of “knowledge and insight”‘ Knowledge and insight? I don’t think so.
I sent two emails out to the organisers of local BPD support groups earlier in the month, but they must be either too depressed or hyper to do me the courtesy of replying, as I ‘m still waiting.

Last Thursday I had quite a long discussion with my GP’s practise Sister – a discussion? Well I came away knowing that the poor woman could hardly get a word in, but had managed to ask me if I wanted to review my medication – my behaviour obviously spoke volumes to her.

So, it’s back to that story – if only as a diversion.

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